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The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so porn loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform bokep an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokeh or bokep bokeh sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study bokep from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, porn and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when bokeh a woman is genuinely aroused, bokeh trusts her partner and memek is not crot fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, crot she’s far bokeh more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic bokeh Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It bokeh was generally on an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, bokeh so they could make their partner feel happy, memek while conserving their energy for crot other tasks crot in hand. This was the conclusion of bokep another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek ‘manipulation’, bokep and porn that women porn were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in porn order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new memek study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm porn is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can bokeh you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason to screech crot like a demented hyena is memek if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokep said in 2014 memek after crot neighbours complained that bokeh her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokep ‘As far memek as porn I’m concerned, memek that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, memek only if you want to attract a bokeh certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokep Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate bokeh cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were porn fertile and memek keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, memek then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.